An about note to you, dear "Gallery Goer",

4/10/2025
about:
This website is my best attempt at finishing the longterm art project my partner Nem was working on when they died.
Save for this paragraph, the words and images on this website are 100% my lovely Nem's. A lot of it is presented in a
rawer form than i know/think she intended for the FINISHED work, but she was very specific in the many times i've heard her talk abt this project
,if not somewhat inconsistent abt if she died before it was done, how she'd want it published. with this site i have done my best to honor her.
It's been over 2 years now since she died and holy fuck, it just doesn't get easier. I still miss her every day. it still doesn't feel real that she's gone, and
writing statements like these just make me feel more hollow. 
Saying it doesnt feel real makes me feel like less of a person right now and I don't know why.
I'm aching everytime I think of her. While I am not her, and am very uncomfortable making some of these decisions, i will say that ive
put a lot of thought into pretty much every aspect of this website, both what I _know_ (from her notes or from previous conversations that we had) she viewed
as finished (of course i have left these entirely intact) and what remains now and forever in an unfinished state.
she kept very thorough notes, musings etc on this project, which have been instrumental in the undertaking of this task.
It is both pain beyond measure and one of the most cathartic experiences i have ever had finishing her vision for this site
"a great pleasure of my life it has been"
going through and assembling this website for you all.
She was always the more technically savvy one, so it took much longer than i intended to get to this point. that and some days i just can't fucking do it. some days it is just unthinkable to make progress.
Please please please, if you think something is broken, or if you have questions,
or even feedback, feel free to reach out to me at the email below. As you may see deeper in this site, there is a directive for the creation of funeral flowers, of ANY kind
sculpture, paint, ink, faberge egg, and ANY flower. you can even repurpose an old flower piece of art you've made in the past. whatever form it may take, send it with the subject 'fornem'. I know she would not want to rule out flowers of type that cannot be contained by email, but if such is the case email me ABOUT the flower in question @
a.neon.bride@gmail.com
which is actually an artist name/alias i thought of back near when nem and I had first started dating.
she was talking about anonymity, and why she liked it when _I_ called her nem, even though she wouldn't
tell anyone else in her life about that name. i asked her what kind of anonymized name she would call me in
her memoirs when she was old and looking back writing memoirs of her life,
and i jokingly suggested 'a neon bride' and she thought it was really good. so thats the name i went with for this.
(vvvv that without fail makes me ugly cry everytime i read it vvvv)
below is the uneditted dedication nem wrote early in working on this artwork:
"this funeral,
 this flower garden.
 this gloam guttering green house:
 from its earliest inception a horrible thing and a labor of love.
 many-winged half-buried.
 is dedicated
 in its entirety, as is my life too: to beloved my wife.
 she is my muse and the very air I breathe. She is my morning.
 please enjoy,
 to whomever gallerygoer is reading this
 scholar or hacker or downtrodden soul,
 thank you from the bottom of my soul for your witness.
 I love you."